VILLA 31 PART ONE
April 30th, 2009
Una Villa Miseria Maravillosa
Today we bring you the first part of a special international edition of the Projects Project. In partnership with the Argentine Government's Casa de Casas y Cosas Como Casas (House of Houses and Things Like Houses), we present our review of Villa 31. It may sound to you like some new hip hipster hotspot, but it's actually the swankiest shantytown in Buenos Aires! The most famous of the villas miserias in Argentina, this boxy Bohemia is so exclusive that even a reasonably extreme hombre like myself was attacked on sight when I walked on site. Here are some of the amenities offered:
FLEA MARKETS!
There are few things that a young intellectual such as yourself loves more than flea markets, and the weirder and older the goods, the gooder the goods! Located on Dirt Avenue just a block and a ladder-climb away from your home is the Mercado Miseria (Misery Market), offering amazing antiques that your family can't do without! Sweatpants from the 80's! Coffee machines from the 70's! Adding machines from the 60's!
You'll wonder how you ever did without a blond mannequin head on a tripod!
GREAT FOR PETS!
Generous public facilities are positively overflowing with food for your furry friends! The neighborhood is so safe and familiar that your dog won't even need a collar!
GREAT FOR KIDS!
A top-of-the-line Walt Disney Daycare facility with a cutting edge barbed wire security system means that you can be sure your child is safe and happy while you're at the office!
Because there are no paved roads (a very modern approach to infrastructure), the whole village is your child's playground!
Draw pictures in the dirt or play some soccer, which is called kickball in most non-American countries! Makes sense if you think about it!
Take a dip in the outdoor swimming facilities! The dengue fever will not shroud Buenos Aires in its deadly embrace for at least a couple more years!
Beautiful vistas!
Modern Arc Deco skyscrapers allow you to pretend that you live in a first world country!
Because of the magic of the politics of space, Villa 31 is right in the middle of one of the richest neighborhoods in the city, isolated only by a couple hundred meters of railroad tracks. This allows for a symbiotic relationship: the surrounding, prosperous area is the main source of jobs for workers in the villa, while the villa is the main source of crime for Buenos Aires! This mutually beneficial arrangement cements Villa 31's place as one of the most happening habitats in the city. Reserve a home now and you can live in the nicest block on your block! Stay with us for Part Two. Non-blurry, high-resolution photographs (including many that won't be on the main page) will be posted in the Archives/Photographs section. I'm pooped!
